(Edvard Munch "Eye in Eye", 1894)
Fate.
Such a powerful word that no human could ever resist. It doesn’t care
how many times you cry, how hard you beg, fate would just come.
Fate.
Always come with unbreakable bound that connects a person with her future. It just doesn’t care they will like it or not.
Fate.
No matter how unpredictable it could be, sometimes we human could feel it’s presence before the time really comes.
Like i did years ago.
I knew fate wouldn’t take my side, fate in winning his heart.
Therefore i took my step back. Decided to leave him with what he wanted.
In that time, i already welcoming the painful fate, already saw what the fate would bring if i continue my courage.
So therefore i said to myself i would quit. Stop clinging my hope
towards him and try to live my life on, move my life on. But that was
just years ago.
Who would have known that i meet up again with this fate, the same
fate that reminds me to finally forget and release all
hopes-dreams-emotions-memories that i cherish for all this time.
Fate, again.
Come to remind me that this time everything is literally over.
There’s no more him. Not even a single scent can remain, everything is
literally has to end. Just end.
Well, this is an end that i already predicted years ago.
Fate, again.
Has left me here wounded, empty and un-soul. Because fate has made me finding this truth that this day is finally coming.
I give up officially today.
Those tears i shred should stop from now on. Today is the beginning
for me to prove my commitment about being courageous for his decision.
a decision to choose another palace to live in.
Since he's already
there with the palace he already chose, now it’s me who’s standing here
freezing with time. Still trying to adjust myself with a new reality.
Have a great new life, dear my Light.
I’ll find another glow, up there above in the night sky, between
those sparkling stars, some other Light who can replace your embrace.
(Gha, May 2012.)
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